Chapter 1 · the methods of childcare
See the whole child first
Before any method, any activity, any plan — the guidelines ask you to do one thing first: actually see the child in front of you.
Method (a)
Know the whole situation, receive the whole child
Understand each child’s situation and the reality of their life at home and in the community, and — so the child can act with a sense of security and trust — receive that child’s own thoughts and wishes as someone with a will of their own.
But here’s the key
“Receive” isn’t “agree with”
Receiving a child’s wishes doesn’t mean granting them. A child who wants to stay outside forever, or refuses lunch, still gets heard first — “you really don’t want to come in yet” — before any boundary is set. Being understood and being obeyed are two different things, and children can tell the difference.
In real life
The child who won’t come inside
Everyone else has lined up; one child is still digging by the fence. Instead of calling her name a third time, I crouch next to the hole: “You’re not finished yet, are you.” She looks up — someone noticed what she was actually doing. Then: “Two more scoops, then we line up together.” She comes, because she was seen before she was moved.
A common misunderstanding
“If I ask what they want, I lose control of the room.”
“Acknowledging a child’s wishes out loud will just invite more resistance.”
“A child who feels heard settles faster than a child who was simply redirected.”
Why this matters to you
It’s not extra work — it’s the first step
New staff sometimes treat “understanding the child” as a soft extra, something for when there’s time. The guidelines place it first, before any method, because every method that follows only works if the child trusts you enough to come along with it.
Ten seconds of “I see you” often saves ten minutes of a standoff.
Your turn
Think of a child you redirected today without saying a word about what they wanted.
Did I name their wish before I moved them?
Tomorrow, try naming it first. Watch what changes.
About Bond Japan
NPO Bond Japan
Bond Japan connects international schools so they can learn from one another and deepen a shared understanding of early childhood education and care.
