Chapter 1 · the methods of childcare
The parent is part of the child
The last of the six methods turns your attention from the child in the room to the family they go home to.
Method (f)
Understand and support every family, on their terms
Understand and accept each family’s situation and wishes, take care with each parent-child relationship and home life, and offer appropriate support whenever the chance arises.
But here’s the key
Every family, not the “ideal” family
This method doesn’t say support families who parent the way you would. It says understand and accept each one’s actual situation — single parents, shift workers, families under stress — and support from there, not from a standard they’re supposed to meet first.
In real life
The parent who’s always late
One father collects his son later than everyone else, every day, visibly rushed. I could make him feel it. Instead, one evening I just said, “He’s had a good day — no rush.” His shoulders dropped. I found out later he works two jobs. He didn’t need a lecture on punctuality; he needed one person not to add to his day.
A common misunderstanding
“My job ends when the parent arrives.”
“Once the child is handed back to their parent, that family’s situation isn’t really my concern.”
“Supporting the child includes noticing and supporting the family they go home to.”
Why this matters to you
You’re often the only professional who sees this family every single day. A brief, non-judgmental moment at pickup can matter more than you’ll ever be told. That’s not extra kindness — it’s method (f).
Your turn
Which family am I quietly judging instead of supporting?
Offer them one moment of ease at pickup tomorrow.
About Bond Japan
NPO Bond Japan
Bond Japan connects international schools so they can learn from one another and deepen a shared understanding of early childhood education and care.
