Chapter 1 · the goals of childcare
Trust is taught, not assumed
Goal (c) is the longest of the six — and it’s really about one thing: how a child learns to be with other people.
Goal (c)
Five things, through relationships
Through relationships with people, nurture affection and trust in others and a mind that values human rights; and at the same time, cultivate independence, self-reliance and cooperation, laying the earliest foundation for a sense of right and wrong.
But here’s the key
Trust comes before independence
Notice the order. A child doesn’t become independent, cooperative, or fair-minded by being told to. They get there by first trusting an adult completely — and from that safety, daring to stand a little further away each time.
In real life
Two children, one toy
Two four-year-olds both want the same truck. I don’t just take it and hand it to whoever asked first. I sit at their level: “You both want it — what could we try?” I’m not solving the problem for them. I’m letting them feel what fairness is, together.
A common misunderstanding
“Just tell them to share.”
“The fastest fix is to step in, decide who’s right, and move on.”
“The slower path — helping them work it out — is where independence and fairness actually get built.”
Why this matters to you
You are the first “other person”
For many children, you are their first experience of a trustworthy adult outside their family. How you respond when they’re upset, unfair, or scared becomes their working idea of what people are like.
That’s a quiet kind of pressure — but also a real kind of power. Use it gently.
Your turn
Think of the last conflict you stepped into between two children.
Did I solve it for them, or with them?
Next time, try “with.” It’s slower — and it’s the actual goal.
About Bond Japan
NPO Bond Japan
Bond Japan connects international schools so they can learn from one another and deepen a shared understanding of early childhood education and care.
